


Of Trees and Priorities

by Baka Ouji (Kaworu)



Series: SnK Crack Ficlets [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-27
Updated: 2013-08-27
Packaged: 2017-12-24 19:31:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/943802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaworu/pseuds/Baka%20Ouji
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A scene from Eren's training with Hanji. Hanji should pay better attention to her subjects ^_^</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Trees and Priorities

**Author's Note:**

> Copyright for the idea goes to [Aiuke](http://aiuke.deviantart.com), or rather to our spam... I mean, discussion in the comments to [this picture](http://aiuke.deviantart.com/art/Curious-mind-395517859).

"Now, Eren, try picking up that twig," Hanji chirped happily, and Eren sighed.

It wasn't that he minded training all that much or that he didn't want to improve his control over his titan body, but the Squad Leader's experiments were getting more and more bizarre. This time she wanted Eren to pick up and move objects without using his hands.

"That's it, good boy," Hanji cooed as Eren crouched to take the twig out of her hand with his teeth. She petted his nose with a creepily indulgent smile before hopping onto his shoulder. "Now, up we go!" she announced and gave an extra happy hoot making Eren cringe. Did she have to do it so close to his ear?

The next hour was an exercise in self-restraint because every time Hanji chirped or squealed (which was at least every minute) Eren could feel his eardrums vibrating painfully, and in the end he just couldn't take it anymore. He chose a moment when Hanji was making a happy dance on his shoulder, arms flying in all directions and her jacket riding up, and in one swift movement squeezed the body of her 3D Manoeuvre Gear between his teeth.

"Eren, what are you doing!?" Hanji shrieked dangling from his mouth like a mouse caught by a cat.

Eren uttered a few very 'intelligent' groans desperately trying to explain.

"You're so cute when you whine!" Hanji cooed.

What!? He wasn't whining! Eren sputtered inwardly.

"But I didn't understand a thing," Hanji finished with a giggle.

Eren sighed.

"Now, now," Hanji said reaching out to pat his chin. "Just for this you can use your hands."

Eren nodded, feeling partially guilty and partially delighted when Hanji yelped at being shaken. Then he pointed at his ear and uttered a sound that even he himself couldn't deny sounded like a whine.

"Did I hurt you!?" Hanji shrieked incredulously, and Eren answered with another pitiful sound. "Poor Eren, I'm so sorry," Hanji cooed scratching underneath his chin. "Still, does sound hurt titans? Incredible! I'll have to experiment on that."

Eren groaned at the thought.

"Alright, alright, I won't," Hanji placated with a laugh then muttered something that sounded suspiciously like 'for now'.

Eren shuddered.

"What are you doing, shitty glasses?" sounded from below, and Eren looked down to see Corporal Levi at his feel, full equipment and sour expression in place.

"Ah, Levi!" Hanji greeted happily waving at the Corporal. "As you can see, we're training."

"Doesn't seem that way to me," Levi answered with a scowl. "Eren!"

Eren moved into parade stance, cringing when Hanji gave a particularly loud whoop at the sudden movement.

The corner of Levi's mouth shifted before he continued. "There's a boulder that has to be moved. Come with me, that's an order."

"But we haven't finished!" Hanji protested, but Levi just glared in her general direction.

"Don't make we repeat myself," he told Eren with narrowed eyes and turned to walk in the direction of the castle. "And leave that thing somewhere," he threw over his shoulder.

"That's rude!" Hanji screamed after him and Eren couldn't disagree. Still, orders were orders, especially from the Corporal.

Eren looked around until he saw a thick branch conveniently close to his height. He manoeuvred until he could hang Hanji on it by the straps on her back, still careful about her order not to use his hands. When he was satisfied that she wouldn't fall off the second he moved away, he turned and ran after the Corporal, catching up in a couple of strides and then slowing down to match his pace.

***

Hanji sighed happily as she watched Eren's retreating back. True, they didn't finish their training, but she'd made a very interesting discovery about Eren being possibly sensitive to sounds, so all in all she couldn't complain about her day. She couldn't wait to finish her notes back at the castle.

"Right, let's get off from here," she said and pulled the trigger on her operating device. Nothing happened. Hanji tried a few more times, but the result was still the same.

With a sigh Hanji wriggled until she could see the actual body of the gear, and the sight made her gulp. There was a large tooth mark right in the middle of it. Which would explain why the Gear wouldn't start. And also meant that she was stuck in the tree.

Hanji looked down, trying to see if she could take a controlled fall with the use of lower branches, but the almost bare trunk didn't look very promising. Then she looked in the direction Eren and Levi had gone, but they were already out of sight. Still, maybe if they haven't gone too far away....

***

Eren stopped to look around. He was sure he'd heard someone calling him....

"What is it?" Levi asked.

Eren gestured, explaining.

"You think you heard someone?" Levi confirmed.

Eren nodded.

"Ignore it," Levi said, and Eren was almost sure that the Corporal was smirking.

What could it have been? Eren took another second to think but then shrugged and continued on his way.


End file.
